I was driving back home from my co-worker Danielle's apartment when the tears that had been held back progressively began to flow similar to the rain currently hitting the windshield. I had received a call the evening before and Danielle implored me to take her overnight shift. After inquiring about what was going on, she told me that she was having mental breakdown. I told her that I had no problem taking the shift (I desperately needed the money), and I attempted to empathize with her in an effort to process her feelings. I heard the panic tone in her voice and I say, "Danielle, it sounds like you are feeling really devastated." In an effort to help her to calm down, telling her to take deep breaths, it didn't have the effect I eagerly hoped.
"It's more than that," she responded while sobbing. She continued to tell me that she could barely breathe and would call me later. After graciously thanking me, the phone call ended, and I felt extreme concern. I knew from previous conversations that her fiance and her were having relationship problems. Several nights I would stay over my shift to support her after she came into work in tears over his cruel remarks and often tempered demeanor. After all, I've had some personal experiences with emotionally abusive men.
My once strictly co-worker relationship with Danielle, a single mother in her early thirties, had evolved into a genuine friendship over the past several months. We had gradually developed a trusting bond enabling the disclosure of innermost feelings, which is extremely difficult for me to express. I have always been apprehensive in forming new friendships, since I have had a few heartbreaking escapades. The reason for friendship, I believe, is to establish a trusting environment essential for the communication of personal experiences, emotions, and beliefs. It is when two people connect in a way that when one person shares their emotions, either positive or negative, the other is there to listen and provide support regardless of personal differences.
When a friend, of whom this type of relationship is established, is in crisis I tend to overextend myself in order to provide whatever support I can. When they are in agony I feel pain. When they experience heartache I experience sorrow. This is exactly what happened today, after being awake for 24 hours. She was definitely in crisis and I needed to be there. No matter what the emotional cost to the self was.
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