9 More Weeks

I have 9 weeks (and counting) to go in the pregnancy and I just don't know how I am going to last. This morning I cried over the one and half inches of snow that we got last night. I am extremely drained from this winter. Not only am I pregnant, but a new homeowner as well. Seeing as I am the only one around the entire seven days of the week, I am the one left to deal with the stresses of home life...the shoveling, cleaning, ect.

Let me give you another example. Last night, after a long day of my internship and the doctor's office, I made myself a nice sit-down dinner. As I was cleaning up the mess, I filled the sink with water to do the dishes. As I get done and drain the water, I hear a splashing noise coming from the basement. I run to the door and all of the sudden I realize that a pipe is broken and the water that was in the sink is now on my basement floor. Later, I get asked if I got to see which pipe the water was coming from. I'm sure if I wasn't already running late to another meeting, I would have had the brains to do that.

When I tell people about my morning, I also get asked why I didn't put my car in the garage last night. I wanted to scream, "I am 31 weeks pregnant and I have a manual garage door which makes me have to push it up....do you really think I was in the mood for that last night after a long ass day? I don't think so!"

I think was really upsets me is that I am not used to being this helpless. I am used to doing things myself with little, if any, help. However, the little things like 2 inches of snow has built up to an iceberg. I know that I could handle this if I wasn't taking on so much right now. I am going to school full-time, working part-time, interning, pregnant, and "tending the home." I don't have enough energy for this anymore. I wish life could slow down, I wish I could sleep for the full eight hours a night, and most of all I wish I could just breathe. I need to not worry so much I know, but how can I not? This is just the beginning. In just 9 weeks I will have a whole other set of responsibilities to deal with; I have to care for a helpless little human being. I feel helpless now....

Marley & Me

"A dog has no use for fancy cars or big homes or designer clothes. Status symbol means nothing to him. A waterlogged stick will do just fine. A dog judges others not by their color or creed or class but by who they are inside. A dog doesn't care if you are rich or poor, educated or illiterate, clever or dull. Give him your heart and he will give you his. It was really quite simple, and yet we humans, so much wiser and more sophisticated, have always had trouble figuring out what really counts and what does not. As I wrote that farewell column to Marley, I realized it was all right there in front of us, if only we opened our eyes. Sometimes it took a dog with bad breath, worse manners, and pure intentions to help us see."
— John Grogan