9 More Weeks

I have 9 weeks (and counting) to go in the pregnancy and I just don't know how I am going to last. This morning I cried over the one and half inches of snow that we got last night. I am extremely drained from this winter. Not only am I pregnant, but a new homeowner as well. Seeing as I am the only one around the entire seven days of the week, I am the one left to deal with the stresses of home life...the shoveling, cleaning, ect.

Let me give you another example. Last night, after a long day of my internship and the doctor's office, I made myself a nice sit-down dinner. As I was cleaning up the mess, I filled the sink with water to do the dishes. As I get done and drain the water, I hear a splashing noise coming from the basement. I run to the door and all of the sudden I realize that a pipe is broken and the water that was in the sink is now on my basement floor. Later, I get asked if I got to see which pipe the water was coming from. I'm sure if I wasn't already running late to another meeting, I would have had the brains to do that.

When I tell people about my morning, I also get asked why I didn't put my car in the garage last night. I wanted to scream, "I am 31 weeks pregnant and I have a manual garage door which makes me have to push it up....do you really think I was in the mood for that last night after a long ass day? I don't think so!"

I think was really upsets me is that I am not used to being this helpless. I am used to doing things myself with little, if any, help. However, the little things like 2 inches of snow has built up to an iceberg. I know that I could handle this if I wasn't taking on so much right now. I am going to school full-time, working part-time, interning, pregnant, and "tending the home." I don't have enough energy for this anymore. I wish life could slow down, I wish I could sleep for the full eight hours a night, and most of all I wish I could just breathe. I need to not worry so much I know, but how can I not? This is just the beginning. In just 9 weeks I will have a whole other set of responsibilities to deal with; I have to care for a helpless little human being. I feel helpless now....