Death

It just hit me the other day that my mother is dying. She told me 2 days after Logan was born that she was diagnosed with Idiopathic Pulmonary Fibrosis, a chronic lung disease with no cure. She literally has 2-5 years to live and I have no idea what to make of it. At first I was in denial, whatever this IPF thing is, can't hurt me more than everything else in my life. But now I have come to the realization that my mother is in her final years and is forced to cope with the negative effects of the disease. It breaks my heart to think that she may not see Logan grow up and not see me grow up for that matter. How does one cope with the loss of a parent? I did not expect to deal with death at this point in my life. Yes, I have witnessed the death of two grandparents, but that was completely different. There is an expectation that one must deal with the death of a grandparent in young adulthood, but not the death of a parent. It's hard to stomach that she might be taken from me so early in my life course.

I know that there are advances in medical science everyday, but I believe that people who claim this are also in denial. Denial of the eminent death that will occur. They say that about cancer, but guess what? People still die every single day from lung cancer. It is time to start dealing with the feelings of death that will come and I need to realize this. I need to reevaluate death because it will have an impact on my life soon. Maybe not in the next couple of years, but definitely within this decade.